When people talk about summer break, it’s usually with excitement.
No more early alarms. No more rushing out the door to catch the bus. No more Sunday evening battles when you foreshadow “back to school tomorrow”. No more packing lunches, signing forms, or coordinating schedules.
And even for our family, there is some truth to that.
As a mom to two teenage boys with profound, non-speaking Autism, ages 16 and 14, I look forward to some of those slower moments, too. After a long school year, my boys deserve a break. They deserve time to simply be kids. They deserve mornings that aren’t rushed and evenings that aren’t filled with appointments, therapies, and schedules.
But if I’m truly being honest, summer doesn’t always feel like a break.
In many ways, it feels like a different kind of work.
My boys thrive on routine. They do best when life is predictable, consistent, and structured. Those routines help them maintain skills, build independence, and navigate their world with confidence. School provides opportunities to practice communication, social interactions, following directions from different adults, and working towards important life skills every single day.
When summer arrives, much of that structure disappears overnight.
As much as I try to recreate pieces of it at home, it simply isn’t the same.
Home is their safe place.
I want our home to feel comfortable, relaxed and predictable. I can use visual calendars, schedules, and planned activities, but I can’t – and honestly don’t want to – structure every hour of every day the way school does. Home serves a different purpose for us.
Because of that, summer often comes with extra anxiety that many parents of Autistic children understand.
Will we lose some of the progress we’ve worked so hard to build?
Will certain skills become harder without daily opportunities to practice them?
Will the transition back to school in the fall be more difficult because the routines have changed?
Those concerns are real.
At the same time, summer presents another challenge that isn’t always talked about.
Many families spend the summer attending camps, sports, swimming lessons, neighborhood activities, and playdates. Their children ride bikes with friends, attend playdates, and fill their calendars with activities.
For families like ours, those opportunities are often limited.
My boys aren’t riding around town with friends. They aren’t attending many of the traditional camps or recreational programs available to their peers.
Many community activities simply aren’t designed with their needs in mind. Even when opportunities are available, summer crowds, increased noise, longer wait times, and unpredictable environments can make participation difficult. What feels like a fun afternoon for many families can quickly become overwhelming when sensory challenges enter the picture.
As a result, summer can sometimes feel long.
Not because we don’t love our children. Not because we don’t enjoy being together.
But because there is a lot of time to fill, and finding activities that are both accessible and enjoyable can require creativity, planning, and flexibility.
If we’re not careful, summer can amplify feelings of isolation.
It’s easy to look around and see what everyone else is doing. It’s easy to compare. It’s easy to wonder if you’re doing enough.
But over the years, I’ve learned that successful summers don’t have to look like anyone else’s.
For our family, success isn’t measured by how many camps we attended or how many activities we checked off a list.
Success looks different.
Sometimes success is Sunday Sundaes together. Sometimes it is family walks through the neighborhood. Sometimes it is running through sprinklers in the front yard. Sometimes it is a quiet evening on the deck, enjoying each other’s company. Sometimes it is simply finding a rhythm that works for our family.
The older my boys get, the more I’ve realized that summer doesn’t have to be productive every minute of every day. They spend much of the year working hard- meeting goals, learning skills, adapting to expectations, and navigating a world that isn’t always designed for them.
They deserve rest, too.
And maybe that’s the balance many of us are searching for.
Maintaining enough structure to help our children thrive while allowing enough freedom for them to simply enjoy being kids.
Summer may not always feel like a break for parents of Autistic children.
But it can still be a season filled with connection, joy, growth, and memories.
Those memories might look different from what we imagined, and they might not resemble what other families are posting on social media.
But different doesn’t mean less meaningful.
Sometimes the best summer moments happen right in our own backyard.
Megan Hufton is the Director of Community Education and Training for the Autism Society of Wisconsin and a mom to two teenage boys with nonspeaking Autism.
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